If You're Looking at Houses ...

After spending some time house hunting, I have decided to interpret for you what the comments on fliers about houses really mean:

Price reduced = I really have no idea what the market is like right now.
Must see inside = I promise it looks better inside than outside.
Needs a little TLC = You're better off bulldozing the place and starting over.
Fridge included = I bought the thing in 1967 and don't want it anymore.
Great neighborhood = The neighborhood is better than the house.
Won't last = I wish.